~i smile when i cry ~

~i must be strong ~

They have tied me to a stake.

I cannot fly.

But bear-like I must fight the course.

I MUST BE STRONG .

They have tied me to a stake. I cannot fly, But bear-like I must fight the course.

They They have tied me to a stake. I cannot fly, But bear-like I must fight the course. tied me to

泪好像不会尽，伤更加地剧痛~

好美的一幅图永远消失在人间~

时间能把伤疗好吗？

希望能把这一切遗忘~

~*Hope my dreams come true* ~

~*S4B*~

Something is missing ~

blank ~

what i feel ~

is just ~

blank ~

but

i know i must be strong ~

to deal with all those obstacles ~

I MUST BE STRONG

i miss you, dad ~

all the memories passed like a wind ~

Vomit

Diarrhoea

Headache

and now my nose BLEEDING !!!!!

WHAT the hell happening to me ?????!!!

ARGHHHHHH.......

BAD THINGS never stop happening to ME !!!

='[

try hard to do well ~

but at the end ''the fell'' spoiled everything ~ =.=

argh~

感觉上身边爱的人都渐渐地离开了~

好无助的感觉~

Saddest moments in my life ~

the tears just cant stop flowing ~

suddenly, i realized that mom loves dad more than anyone else do~

she just keeps mentioning about dad ~

tears flow when she thinks about dad ~

i try not to shed a tear ~

because i know if i cry more then mom will hurt more ~

my sister ~ doesn't feeling really well these few days ~

non-stop vomiting fevering , crying ~

really no ideas what should i do to help my family ~

yes, she is still small~

but she is mature ~

it's kinta funnY~ but it's true ~

she knows what is death at her ages ~

so, it's kinta miracle ??

26 of February ~

i still went to traffic & band practice~

playing with my friends ~

laughing with my friends ~

enjoyed the time with my friends ~

but who knows ??

my dad passed away that day ~

i have already had 7 missed call when i was having band practice ~

but i didn't answer ~ i straight away press the button and ended the call~

continued to practice ~

oh yes ~ it's lunch time !

went out to eat with my band mates ~

i was shocked why i have so many missed calls ~

so i press the button and phoned back to the people who had gave me so many missed calls ~

*YOUR DAD PASSES AWAY*

i was froze by the 4 words ~

tears still to burst out from my eyes ~

my mouth hardened ~

i couldn't spit out a word ~

*hello* hello* DO U HEAR ME?*

i couldn't answer ~~

after a few seconds ~

i managed to spit out a word ~

which is yes in hokkien ~

switch off the phone ~

my band mates was shocked too ~

then i ran off the roads like a mad bull ~

made my feet ran faster to the school~

packed my things ~ saw our band teacher ~

she hugged me ~ try to comfort me ~

but it didn't works ~ my mind was empty ~

my body frozed

except the tears are still functioning very well ~

walked down the stairs with someooe accompany me ~

sat down the chair~

waiting for my aunt to arrive ~

didn't realized how much time it took to reach hospital ~

but suddenly i am in the hospital ~

searching for my dad ~

went into the lift ~ up to dunno which floor ~

cant see anybody !

went into the lift ~ down to ground floor ~

searching everywhere ~

saw everything ~

but not my dad ~

suddenly the phone rang~

it's my mom~

telling my aunt where they had placed my dad ~

we ran when we got the right direction~

i saw my mom & my sis ~

their faces were reddened ~

tears on their faces ~

yelling my name ~

saw my dad ~

in a van ~

no ideas why my dad's body blackened like a coal ~

my eyes stopped at my dad ~

frozed ~

as if it was fake~

as if i was dreaming ~

i cant help myself to go through the reality ~

arrived at pek hun sua ~

dad placed in his house ~

sister crying , vomiting diarrhoea-ing ~

me crying, still frozing ~

mom started to call dad's relatives ~

one by one ~

said dad passes away then burst out her tears ~

hardly believe mom can do that ~

she is very strong ~

the night came ~

dad's relatives came too ~

all shocked ~

looking at my sis & me ~

with a sympathy eyes ~

i dun like the feeling of being watch by people ~

many of them said omg , ur kia so small ~

har ? dun have sons ?? this sentence made me mad ~

but something do really make me feels warm~

thank you my band mates ~ and also the out band teacher ~

thank you so much ~

as everybody knows ~

when a person died ~ many things needed to be done ~

especially for a Buddhist ~

a 10kg of thing like a stick with things on its end ~

on my shoulders ~

it's very heavy ~ and i cant move fast ~

i havta run to chase the shi fu with this thing on my shoulder ~

i try very hard ~ because i wanna tell dad's relatives -I AM NOT A BOY ~ MAYBE I AM WEAKER THAN A BOY~ BUT I AM SURE I CAN DO THIS ~ BECAUSE I AM MY DAD'S DAUGHTER ~

my aunt told me ~ it's very seldom to see a girl carry this thing and run over to chase someone ~

my dad's relatives shed their tears when they saw the scene ~

i know i had prove it to them that i can do it ~

now big bruises on my shoulders ~

but i know it's worth it ~

one more thing~ thank you our headmistress Ms.Yeo ~ she came to see my dad & told me to be strong ~ she is a person that appeared in my dad's childhood ~ growing up together~

but my dad went to heaven first ~ sigh............

3 days ~

non-stop doing things ~

non-stop crying ~

but stop sleeping ~ =.=

28 of February ~

accompanied my dad to walk through the last journey in a human's life ~

everything ended ~

but the sorrow is killing our heart ~

please ~ i dun wish to see my mom crying anymore ~

i wanna be strong ~

but .............

sigh~

a person that i seen everyday ~

a person that i heard his voice everyday ~

a person that i loved ~

disappeared from our sight ,our ears , this world ~
but never our heart ~

i love you, dad ~

*i saw the angpau in the hospital that u wanna give me when it was my birthday. thank you daddy*