i wish i could cry out loud

i cant keep in my heart anymore

it's so suffering

i am a good actress

lol

i can laugh out loud

but sometimes there aren't jokes

even though the heart is so hurt

but the smile never disappear from my face

somehow

it's so tired

yeah

i am repeating the stupid things over and over again

but the things just wont leave me alone

somehow

it's so cold in my world

i could only hear and feel my heartbeat

pounded so hard as if it wanna break into pieces

and the tears flow like a river

couldn't share with anybody

but this tiny little blog

flying through the past of the memories

so beautiful as if it's fake

so fake as if it never happened before

awake from the dreams

facing the reality

thinking about the future that filled with sharp thorns

wondering

how am i gonna pass through all those thorns

i lost my spirit

the spirit that fight for anything

i lost it

now i become less energetic when doing things

the spirit is gone

GONE

i need you

i love you

daddy

help me

give me inspiration

i know you're not here

but another you

YOU

will appear once again in my life ?

fighting so hard for my dreams